Saturday, March 9, 2019

Family Crisis: Divide OR Conquer

This week our class discussion centered around crisis and we explored how crises and challenges affect the family as a unit. Perhaps the title of this blog post caught your attention... Family Crisis: Divide OR Conquer. Yes, I intentionally used the word or instead of and. Allow me to explain.

Forgive me from starting with the end, but let’s first look at the outcomes of crises. When a crisis hits, as unexpectedly and harshly as the word implies, several things may happen, but—regardless of all the details and variables—eventually the moment of crisis is passed. Individuals and families may experience one of three general outcome: the individual or family may emerge from the crisis with (1) a return to the level of well-being before the crisis through effective coping, (2) reduced level of well-being through poor coping, or (3) increased well-being through positive coping. This concept should not be new. After all, most of us have experienced hardship that left us either worse off, better off, or roughly the same as we were before.

The fascinating thing about these types of outcomes is that each one of them may be experienced as a result of the very same crisis. You might consider this example as an illustration: Three families’ homes are damaged by a flood. One family does nothing to repair damages and suffers from these severely reduced living conditions. The second family decides to rebuild their house and regains the type of living conditions they enjoyed before the flood. The third family takes the opportunity to rebuild and make additional improvements, adding a room here and changing the layout there, to better fit their needs. In this (simplified) example we can see how the same crisis yielded three different results.

Perhaps even more interesting, is that the very same crisis can lead to different outcomes in the very same individual or family. So there clearly must be more to determining the outcome than just what type of individual or family which the crisis hits.

The “ABCX model” is useful for helping us interpret crises and their outcomes. In this model, the A represents the actual event or crisis. The B is our resources and response. The C is our definition of the crisis and the situation overall. And the X represents the outcome of A, B, and C.

A visual representation of this model may be helpful to illustrate the relationship between the elements. The actual event influences both what resources we may have available to respond to it, as well as how we choose to respond, as well as influencing our perception or definition of the crisis, and directly affecting the outcome of the crisis. Our resources and response may influence our definition of the crisis, and vice versa.
  
 


For instance, if a family member is seriously injured in a car accident, but we have the medical resources and financial resources to get them the needed care, we are not likely to define the car accident as the same type of crisis we would if the car accident occurred in a remote area far away from the nearest hospital or if we simply didn’t have the money to cover medical expenses.

Our individual perception of the crisis, as well as the means we have available and the way we respond to the crisis, all affect the outcome we experience. But how is it that some families are driven apart by crisis while others pull together and their family unit even becomes stronger from the experience? The difference is often found in the direction family members turn when crisis hits. If we seek to rely on and build family relationships, avoid placing blame on each other, work together to seek solutions and carry out effective coping methods, focus on creating a positive interpretation of the crisis by looking for what good can come out of it, and support one another, it is far more likely that the family will be strengthened despite—and perhaps because of—the crises we face.

Roots and Branches: Remember, it’s Divide OR Conquer. Working together I know we can make it through and even be strengthened through crises and challenges.

 

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